Once we understand that people respond not only to what we say, but to how we say it, the logic of positive suggestion becomes very clear.
Rather than trying to fight against a person’s existing motives, habits, or attitudes, we can instead invite their mind to move toward something more useful. We don’t push against the old pattern; we build a new one that is so compelling, so comfortable, that the old one is simply left behind.
On the face of it, this sounds straightforward. In practice, it can sometimes be challenging. Our everyday language is full of negations and prohibitions: “don’t do this,” “stop doing that,” “you mustn’t feel this way.” In hypnosis and therapeutic communication, however, such phrasing can unintentionally direct the person’s attention back toward the very behaviour or feeling we want to change.
Positive suggestion is the deliberate shift away from “don’ts” and “must nots,” toward clear, attractive, positively framed experiences: how the person will feel, what they will do, and what they will move toward.
You are not attempting to suppress or override. You are inviting, orienting, and guiding.
Why Positive Suggestions?
When we give a negative instruction such as “You will not be hungry” or “You won’t eat sweets,” the mind first has to represent being hungry or eating sweets in order to understand what is being denied. For many clients, this simply reinforces the old pattern, keeping their attention locked onto the problem.
Positive suggestion works differently. It focuses their inner experience on:
- The state we want them to have
- The behaviours we want them to generate
- The relationship with themselves that we want to encourage
In this way, the client is not struggling against something; they are moving toward something.
If it is not possible to avoid a negative suggestion altogether, it is often helpful to precede it with a positive suggestion that is easy to accept and easy to experience. This allows the nervous system to settle into a more resourceful state before any limiting or corrective statement is introduced.
From “Not Hungry” to “Comfortably Engaged”
Consider a client working with you on weight control.
A common but unhelpful suggestion might be:
“You will not be hungry.”
On the surface, this sounds like a solution, but internally, the client must think about hunger in order to process the suggestion. In addition, complete absence of hunger is neither realistic nor desirable; hunger is a normal physiological signal.
Instead, you can reframe the experience:
“You’ll be surprised to discover how really comfortable you can feel, because you simply become so absorbed in the things you’re doing, that time goes by very rapidly. And then suddenly, to your pleasant surprise, you notice that it’s just naturally time for another meal.”
Notice what is happening here:
- The focus shifts from hunger to comfort.
- Attention is guided toward absorption in daily activities.
- Time is experienced as passing easily and quickly.
- Eating becomes something that happens naturally, at appropriate times.
We are not ordering the client to “not be hungry”; we are guiding them into an inner experience where hunger is no longer central, dominant, or problematic. The behaviour we are aiming for (eating at appropriate times, in a balanced way) is encoded as a natural outcome of being engaged and comfortable.
From “Don’t Eat Bad Foods” to “Protecting the Body”
Now consider another typical negative suggestion:
“You won’t eat sweets or foods that are bad for you.”
Again, the mind must bring up images, tastes, and urges related to sweets and “bad” foods in order to understand what is being denied. This can intensify craving rather than reduce it.
You can instead create a richer, more emotionally resonant positive frame:
“You will protect your body, treating it with kindness and respect, as if it were your precious, innocent little boy that you love, totally dependent upon your care and protection. You will protect your body just as you protect and take care of your son.”
Here:
- The problem (eating “bad” foods) is not mentioned directly.
- The focus is on protection, kindness and respect.
- The client’s natural caring for a loved child is used as a metaphor for how they can care for their own body.
- The behaviour we want (making healthier choices) arises from a powerful, positive emotional bond rather than from prohibition.
This is more than “positive thinking.” It is a change of relational frame: the person begins to relate to their body as something precious, vulnerable and worthy of protection. From this relationship, new choices emerge spontaneously.
From “Don’t Wet the Bed” to “A Dry Bed”
The same principle applies with children.
Telling a child:
“Don’t wet the bed”
keeps the child’s attention on wetting and on the problem itself. Each night becomes a test they can “fail.”
By contrast, you might talk about:
“Having a dry bed.”
This simple shift:
- Gives the child a clear, sensory image of success (a dry bed).
- Focuses attention on the desired outcome rather than the feared event.
- Reduces shame and pressure, and instead invites a positive expectation.
You are not telling them what not to do. You are giving them something clear and achievable to move toward.
Practical Guidelines for Using Positive Suggestion
When you are constructing suggestions, you can use the following steps as a quick internal checklist:
- Identify the Target Experience
What do you actually want the client to feel, do, or expect?
Formulate this as a positive state or behaviour (e.g. “comfortable and absorbed,” “protective and caring,” “sleeping in a dry bed”). - Remove Negations
Scan your wording for “don’t,” “won’t,” “not,” and other negative constructions.
Translate each one into a clearer positive alternative. - Connect to Existing Resources
Link the desired behaviour to an existing positive feeling or relationship (e.g. love for a child, pride in caring, pleasure in comfort).
This makes the new pattern feel natural, rather than imposed. - Make It Easy to Experience
Build suggestions around states that are simple, familiar, and easy to accept (e.g. “being absorbed in what you’re doing,” “time passing quickly,” “feeling comfortable”).
If you must use a corrective or limiting statement, precede it with a suggestion that orients the client to comfort, safety, or competence. - Speak in Terms of “Will” and “Can”
Use language that gently assumes success: “you will notice,” “you’ll find yourself,” “you can begin to…”
This frames the change as an unfolding process rather than a forced demand.
Summary
Positive suggestion is not about ignoring problems or pretending they do not exist. It is about speaking to the mind in a way that orients attention toward solutions, resources, and desired experiences.
- Instead of fighting hunger, you invite comfort and engagement.
- Instead of forbidding sweets, you awaken the instinct to protect and care for the body.
- Instead of warning against wetting the bed, you invite the experience of a dry, comfortable bed.
By changing the direction of suggestion, from “away from” the problem to “toward” the solution, you offer your clients a more natural, respectful, and effective way to change.