How To: Six-step Reframing Pattern

When we go through life, we start to organise our thoughts, feelings, language, and actions in all sorts of patterns. These patterns take the shape of “parts” within us—little roles or identities that each serve their own specific purpose. Imagine them as different team members inside your mind, each trying to help you get something valuable or meaningful, often based on old ideas or frames of reference.

As these meanings and behaviours become habits, they tend to slip out of our conscious awareness and into the background, operating on autopilot. This “unconscious programming” is efficient; it saves us time and energy.

But there’s a catch. If the world changes, these internal “parts” might become outdated. For example, perhaps as a child, you created a part to keep quiet—because you learned “children should be seen and not heard.” Initially, this was helpful. But as you grow up, if you keep running the “stay quiet” program, it may hold you back from speaking up in adult situations.

The Six-Step Reframing Pattern is designed to work with these kinds of unconscious, habitual programs, behaviours, emotions, or reactions that seem automatic or resistant to change, even when we consciously want to do something different. This includes habits like smoking, nail biting, or phobic responses. If you ever think, “Why do I keep doing this?” or “I dislike the part of me that keeps…,” this process is for you.

This protocol creates an internal dialogue, helping you reconnect with these old “parts,” understand their positive intent, and negotiate new ways for them to help you—ways that suit your current life and goals.

• _{Step 1:}
  Identify a Troublesome Behaviour

  Begin by choosing a behaviour you’d like to change. This should be something that fits one of these internal statements:

  – “I want to stop doing X.”

  – “I want to do X, but something inside me stops me.”

• _{Step 2:}
  Communicate With the Part

  Now, close your eyes and go inward. Address the “part” of you that creates this behaviour. Ask, “Will the part of me responsible for this behaviour communicate with me in consciousness?” Wait and notice any response; it could be a feeling, image, sound, or a shift in awareness.

  Always thank the part for responding. You can also use sub-modalities to sharpen the response: “If yes, let it get brighter, louder, or more intense. If no, let it fade or diminish.” Some people prefer using physical signals (like designating a finger to twitch for “yes” and another for “no”; these are called idiomotor signals).

• _{Step 3:}
  Discover the Positive Intention

  Ask the part, “Would you let me know in consciousness what you’re trying to achieve by creating this behaviour?” Wait for a response.

  – If you get a “yes,” ask yourself: “Is this positive intention something I appreciate? Do I want a part inside me to fulfil this need?”

  – If not, ask the part, “If you had other ways to achieve this same positive goal—ways that work as well or better than the old behaviour—would you try them?”

  – If the part won’t reveal its intention, ask: “Can I trust that my unconscious has a positive purpose for me, even if I don’t know what it is right now?”

  Remember: every part has a positive intention, even if its approach is outdated.

• _{Step 4:}
  Access Your Creative Resources

  Connect with your creative part—the aspect of you that comes up with new ideas or solutions. Anchor this state. Now, ask the original part that runs the unwanted behaviour to communicate its positive intention directly to your creative part.

  Let the creative part generate three possible new behaviours; fresh, useful ways to achieve the positive intention behind the old habit. Make sure these are at least as effective as, or better than, the old behaviour. Allow the creative part to communicate these to the old part.

• _{Step 5:}
  Commitment and Integration

  Ask the original part, “Will you now agree to use one of these new alternative behaviours in the appropriate situation?” Let your unconscious mind identify when to use these new behaviours. Imagine how it will feel to act in these new, resourceful ways—let yourself experience the difference.

  Ecology Check: “Does any other part of me object to having these new choices available?” This is crucial for ensuring all parts of you are aligned and no new problems are created by the change.